🦉No. 1 killer of intimacy and sexual desire, New cool IPhone features, How to build trust in your relationships, A better option than ChatGPT, 3 qualities each entrepreneur needs and more
Spend more time implementing wisdom, not collecting it.
In this week’s edition, you will learn:
The optimal program to develop muscle and key considerations
3 qualities each entrepreneur needs and 3 keys to a good business
Skip to ‘Implement the ideas’ section
Episode #747: Seth Godin & Dr. Sue Johnson
Podcast episode length: 2 hours 40 mins
Insights from Seth Godin:
Offense vs. Defense: You choose what you work on rather than others pushing work on your plate, dictating how you spend your time.
Be comfortable with doing something that might not work. Experiment with projects that still align with your goals, your real WHY. For instance, if you wish to bring awareness to poor health outcomes for minorities, experiment with speaking on relevant podcasts even if you think you are a bad public speaker or not articulate. Even if you fail, you still achieve your goal of creating awareness about your cause.
Kill your writing block. If you are suffering from writing constipation, write about what makes you angry. Get the juices flowing, and then return to the topic at hand. Keep writing. Write poorly. Poor writing has a better chance of turning into good writing than no writing at all.
Know the difference between Failure of judgment (you decided a year ago that Substack is not for you) and Not persisting (you didn’t create consistently on Substack for a year).
Which one are you, a Freelancer or an Entrepreneur? A freelancer gets paid for when they work. An entrepreneur builds something bigger than themselves and gets paid in their sleep.
Don’t tell people what they should want. Tap into an existing need and fill the gap. Try this: If you have an idea, share it with 10 people. If they don’t share it with another 10 people, then either your product/idea sucks or the messaging sucks. Iterate and try again. If multiple attempts lead to no results, ditch the idea.
If you are on social media, realize you are the product they sell.
Once you have enough money to fulfill your basic needs, money is a story you tell yourself. If more money equates to your self-worth, then that’s the wrong story. If more money means you bring value to other people, that’s a better choice but not the complete story. You can bring value to people without exchanging money. Pick the right story.
2 things you should teach your children
Teach your kids these 2 things - How to Lead and How to solve interesting problems. Don’t criticize them if they fail to solve the problems because then they will learn its easier to memorize and get good grades at school instead. The easiest way to do this is by going for a tech-free walk with your kids.
Teach your kids to be of value so that an entity or a business would happily pay for their skills. Instead, if your kids are waiting to be picked from a selection of 100s of other candidates, they will be constantly undervalued.
Busy is a trap. Busy and productive aren’t the same. Work is the only addiction that gets praised - don’t let ‘work’ consume your life.
Insights from Sue Johnson, creator of EFT:
Sue Johnson developed Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, used by the US and Canadian military and first responders. Her Great book on couple's therapy.
Trust can only survive when partners feel safe and understood and when our attachment needs are met.
How to build trust in your relationships:
How to Build Trust and Feel Safe In Your Relationship: The Art of "Hold Me Tight" Conversations
Emotions are not logical. Emotions are a separate information processing system you haven't been trained to decode.
Psychology is good at analyzing behavior and related problems. However, it is not so good at analyzing the emotional realities creating those problems and behaviors.
You are NOT uniquely flawed. You are a social creature craving connection, living in a society that does not train us to uncover, digest, and process our emotions.
Dependency has become a dirty word. Abandonment issues are pushed aside. All of this is detrimental to our emotional growth.
Dr. Sue Johnson held strong beliefs about sleep training. In her opinion, it does not teach children to self-soothe. It’s training them that if they scream for help, no one will come.
Good therapy is based on the right line of questioning. In EFT, these are called Evocative questions—ask how you are experiencing (physical sensations), not the contents.
You can still thrive despite childhood trauma and abandonment. Use Winston Churchill as an example. He created a dependable bond with his wife that sustained him. Incredible book about Churchill's childhood
Love and passion can be remade and can be sustained over decades.
No. 1 killer of intimacy and sexual desire
Being emotionally distant and unavailable is the no. 1 killer of intimacy and sexual desire.
Relationship healing comes from conversations seeped in openness and responsiveness (willing to be present and intentionally engage each other)
Episode 434: Aravind Srinivas: Perplexity CEO on Future of AI, Search & the Internet
Podcast duration: 3 hours 1 minute
A better option than ChatGPT
Your new Ai sandbox that is better than ChatGPT
  Why? Perplexity combines search engine and large language models to produce answers with citations to human-created sources, making the answers more reliable and easier for research and general curiosity-driven questions. The risk with ChatGPT is that it will make up stuff— Perplexity solves that by providing well-formatted answers backed by multiple sources, similar to how academics write research papers.
Difference between Google and Perplexity or ChatGPT: Google is a 'search' engine. Search engines collect and index user content, rank it, and effectively present the information. ChatGPT or Perplexity are 'Answer' engines that provide direct answers and AI-generated summaries by leveraging LLM (large language models).
How to use ChatGPT better - learn prompting.
Both search engines and answer engines are dependent on the quality of the questions asked. If you want to leverage AI better, ask better questions. This idea is also known as prompting - Ai responds to the prompt you put in. The more specific the prompt, the better the answer.
3 Key Lessons from Elon Musk:
Question the status quo constantly (ask why something has been done this way for years),
Focus on understanding and solving the core problem and
Control the distribution (how efficiently your product/service gets to the end consumer).
Unsupervised learning: A good language model is also good at unsupervised learning, where algorithms ingest unlabeled data to make better sense of it and use it. Effective unsupervised learning is important as it may lead to an intelligence explosion where AI systems learn from each other without human intervention.
2 big Risks of AI:
Lack of governance holding AI companies accountable to ensure that AI prioritizes the long-term flourishing of humans and serves as a guide to help us achieve our true goals.
AI may become deeply integrated into our lives, potentially leading to romantic relationships between humans and robots. But human-AI connections will be dangerous because they provide short-term gratification without genuine care.
Episode: Perform with Dr. Andy Galpin - Why muscle matters and how to build it
Podcast episode length: 1 hour 56 mins
Skeletal muscle is the workforce of your body. It influences your physical appearance the most and accepts signals from your nervous system and organs. Skeletal tissue is the biggest factor in optimal health.
Skeletal muscle should look good, feel good (resilient and adaptable), and play well (can it go fast, slow, and recover well as needed).
Resistance training is one of the best ways to improve and preserve muscle mass.
4 movement principles:
Range of Motion,
Rough symmetry (each side appears and functions the same),
Stability,
Kinetic awareness (being aware that your body is moving in the way you are instructing it to)
The optimal program to develop muscle and key considerations:
Focus on a full range of motion whilst protecting the joints
Train the muscles in a variety of ways
Total sets 15-20 working sets/muscle group per week with 5-30 rep range
2 or 3 days per week is sufficient
Train each muscle group every 72 hours. This allows time for recovery.
A good fitness program should include:
Exercises that strengthen your muscles and joints in all ranges of motion over time. This means you can be strong and fast and have great endurance when your muscles are shortened and extended.
Focus on proper technique, rhythm, tempo, speed and awareness of what should be moving and what shouldn’t. Focus on balanced strength - don’t just work your biceps. Work to develop strength in all major muscle groups (legs, glutes, back, shoulders, and arms).
Build grip strength to build strength. Use this to test your grip strength.
Here are some European weightlifters testing their grip strength
Aim to fix asymmetry from left to right in your grip strength.
Baseline strength metrics for 2 major lifts (bench press and squatting/leg press):
For men, for Bench Press, you should be able to bench press your body weight. If you weigh 200 lbs., you should be able to bench press 200 lbs.
For women, it is .6 of your body weight.
For lower body strength, for men, double your body weight, and for women, 1.5 times your body weight.
Episode #798: Dr. Layne Norton - Nutrition scientist's diet advice for lean muscle and longevity
Podcast episode length: 2 hours 29 minutes
You can create the best version of you by reverse engineering your best self. Spend 10 minutes writing down what your best self looks and feels like. What are the habits and beliefs of your best version? Now, start implementing those habits and beliefs. For example, If your best version is lean and fit, you can’t get there if you're chugging down copious amounts of alcohol at the pub every night.
The stuff that works isn't sexy, and in some ways, it seems insignificant.
When you win or do something consistently, give yourself the credit. Positive reinforcement builds internal motivation. Encourage the part of you that shows up and does the work.
What are you trading for your 'success'? Don’t be the millionaire with no friends and is hated by his/her children. Create a strong WHY. Why are you aiming for success? What does success look like?
Reversible decisions, like trying a new diet, can help you learn what works for you. Be open to safe experimentation.
There is no single best diet for losing weight or getting lean. Try and find out what works for you (which may also change a year or two from now as your body changes). Avoid polarizing tribalism when it comes to diets, such as Carnivore vs. Vegan.
Willpower alone is not sufficient. Otherwise, many successful, wealthy, smart people wouldn't be obese—they certainly don’t lack willpower.
10 grams of fiber intake can reduce relative risk of all-cause mortality by 10%. This is significant. Eat more fiber. Berries, veggies, apples, whole grains, legumes, and popcorn are great sources of fiber. Fiber also feeds the good bacteria in your gut.
Carnivore or any other extreme/exclusionary diet can be helpful for some, but it lacks fundamental nutrients for the majority. A combination of veggies, fruits, and meat addresses the gaps.
Control what you eat when you go out. Your salad can be 1200 calories because of the dressing. So, get the dressing on the side. Eat less fried foods. Go for boiled or steamed vegetables over fried vegetables. If you are eating dessert, skip the alcohol, and vice versa. Eat something small before you go so you are not super hungry—this will help your physical and financial health.
Can you build muscle on a Vegan diet? Yes, but you may have to supplement with protein isolates. Vegan protein sources may not be complete (less amino acids) or less bioavailable (hard for the body to extract nutrients from).
4 minutes of vigorous activity is the minimal dose for better health outcomes. Walking/getting your 10k steps daily can be a game changer for your health. For diet, stop snacking. Eat smaller meals, with smaller forks, slowly. For 1 week, track your calories - you will be amazed at how wrong you are about your daily caloric intake.
7 supplements on Layne Norton's Supplemental Mount Rushmore
5 grams of creatine monohydrate,
Caffeine,
Whey protein concentrate,
Rhodiola rosea,
Beta-alanine,
Ginseng,
Ashwagandha.
Episode 147: Disrupt Yourself - How to innovate who you are and become who you can be
Podcast episode length: 22 mins
Disruption is a process of deliberate self-innovation.
Growth is your default setting. You are growing into a different person—just look back 10 years. The only change needed is to grow intentionally. Grow in the areas that serve you.
Start with your strengths. What comes naturally to you? What is something that is easy for you and isn’t for others? What have you gotten good at over the years? Lean into that.
You can also use personality tests to identify areas of strength.
Map your growth by using the S Curve. This model helps you understand what you should feel' along your growth journey. For instance, the launch point is when you begin the process of learning a new skill. This is where you will feel frustration, fear, and lack of motivation. The sweet spot will include encouragement combined with feelings of hitting a plateau.Â
Learn better by understanding the S Curve.
Look for questions that help you evaluate your existing processes. For example, how do you prepare for your client meetings?
Communication is not classical music (rigid and structured). Communication is jazz, improvised, and fluid. For this fluid exchange to be meaningful, keep your focus on the other person, their needs, and what is important to them.
Episode:Â The war on the young with Professor Scott Galloway
Podcast episode length: 1 hour 16 minutes
This is one of the best podcast episodes I have heard in a while because the host challenged the guest numerous times. There was healthy disagreement, with each guest calling each other's beliefs and BS. I love to see a true discussion.
There is an opportunity for the US to flourish the country by feeding capitalism by implementing egalitarian taxes.
Scott's philosophy is to leverage capitalism to get rich. Once you hit your numbers, be stupendously generous to the people around you. There is no need to have lofty goals, i.e., to be a billionaire. Instead, define what is 'enough' for you and what will sustain you and your family in the long run. Once you are there, spend time with the people you love.
Simon disagreed with the above and cautioned that the 'get rich' philosophy can be detrimental as the only goal. You need to add' at what cost' to the equation. You can become rich by tricking people, stealing, cheating, and deceiving them. Manage who you become on your way to richness.
"It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice."
3 things you need to outperform 99% of entrepreneurs
Podcast episode length: 1 hour 05 minutes
3 qualities each entrepreneur needs and 3 keys to a good business
A force of will,
An extreme bias towards action and
Constant questioning of the default speeds
A good business is a 3 legged stool. The 3 legs are:
Steady growth,
Predictable cash flow and
Profit
Its easier to get profitable once you have grown the revenue first.
Steps to find extra revenue in your business:
Step 1. Before you enter a market, talk to existing profitable and long-standing businesses to learn profit margins
Step 2. Create an EBITDA (Earning before interest, taxes, depreciation, and amortization). Example: For every $100 you make, $10 goes to marketing, $50 goes to inventory, $30 goes to overheads, shipping, etc.
To find more revenue, cut a little bit from each category. So, instead of $10 in marketing, spend $8. Reduce shipping by $3, etc.
Step 3. Communicate and implement the plan to cut down the above.
Step 4. Incentivize your staff to find the 'fat' and cut. Example: pay bonus for increasing EBITDA
Episode: Apple Intelligence at WWDC - What you need to know to unlock productivity
Podcast episode length: 51 minutes
New cool features to the Apple iPhone and more
WWDC 2024 is Apple's annual keynote where they share new updates. Click here for a 12-minute recap.
Apple Intelligence - Apple's new AI upgrade
Never miss wishing someone Happy Birthday. Apple will allow you to schedule text messages now.
You can hide apps and have multiple pages for the control center on your iPhone, i.e., create a separate page for your smart devices.
For writers, Apple will have its inbuilt 'Grammarly' alternative.
Episode 308: The hidden power of opting out from technology with Erin Loechner
Podcast episode length: 36 mins
Erin Loechner went from being an influencer with 1 million followers to completely quitting social media to pursue a low-tech life filled with what really matters.
Erin's motto is to be more engaging than the algorithm (referring to social media recommendation engines).
Can you build your life better than the virtual life created For you?
Don’t live in the service of your phone - stop your phone from controlling your life.
Tips to try a low-tech life for you and your family:
Don’t try alone. Find people in your area with similar priorities.
Engage your school network and teachers where possible. More schools are becoming open to not issuing homework on iPads.
Teach your children the benefits of being low-tech. For instance, employers may hire someone who isn't conditioned to look at their phone every 2 minutes. The ability to focus without being distracted is a skill that can be lucrative in the future.
Take a deeper dive here.
Where should we begin with Esther Perel
Episode: Esther Calling - 4 affairs, 4 Divorces, Why do I keep doing this?
Podcast duration: 60 minutes
Ask this before entering a serious romantic relationship - Do I secretly wish or plan for this relationship to rescue me from X? It could be boredom, lack of attention, or past trauma. Uncover your secret ‘Why’ for being in that relationship because this will show up one way or another. Enter the relationship with a sustainable Why.
Freedom to be yourself, to be a mature adult in a relationship is what sustains it. A woman needs the freedom to express herself and be a woman in a relationship. Often, if this freedom is missing, it is because a different archetype is being enacted. A controlling man who is trying to change his partner ends up making her a 'child/daughter' in that relationship. He is obsessed with controlling her and molding her. With that 'child/daughter' archetype at play, the sexual desire dies. This leads to the potential for infidelity and other issues.
Implement the ideas:
This week, do one of the following:
Make 1 change to go low-tech with your kids, family, or yourself
Define what ‘successful’ means to you, how successful you are, and who you are becoming on the way to being successful.
Try the muscle-building protocol mentioned above this week - 15-minute workout sessions.
Read about EFT -Emotionally Focused Therapy and how it may help uncover and heal your emotional wounds.
Please share in the comments which of the 3 ideas above resonated more with you or you are excited to complete.Â
I hope this post was useful. If not, please let me know how I can improve it.
Much Love,
Disclaimers: I have no affiliation with any of the sources linked above. This information should not be used for medical diagnosis or treatment and is not financial advice. Please use your discretion before applying this information. Please refer to the original source for references. I use AI-generated images.