Why is your success never enough?
Your success is never enough because you haven't defined 'enough.'
You're on a hedonic treadmill chasing pleasures in exchange for lasting happiness.
Your deep-rooted beliefs and societal role models are wrong and flawed.
You haven't thought through the downside of wealth.
You haven't realized that money only solves money problems.
Billionaires still have money problems.
Billionaires are still unhappy. They are miserable fighting the same issues as you. They are still having arguments with their spouse. They are still worried about their kids and still feel insecure because they compare themselves to people with more money than them.
To top it off, most successful people are examples of anxiety disorders and trauma geared toward productivity.
Look at Elon Musk; he had a physically and emotionally abusive childhood.
Jeff Bezos's dad walked out on him when he was a baby.
In some ways, the most successful people are a manifestation of a deeper emotional pathology. As if something may be broken inside that drove them to the height of their success.
The point is: Do not look for money to fix what may be broken inside.
This doesn’t mean you are broken. This means that lasting happiness comes from being at peace with yourself. This means that happiness is an inside quest. It has very little to do with your possessions and your bank balance.
Some questions to help gain further clarity:
What is your real why - why do you crave more money? For example, My real why is to have enough money so that my family has the basics covered at all times. So that we can have a comfortable life without going into debt. So that we can travel and make memories together. So that I can be free and not be controlled by anyone. So, for me, it comes down to freedom. That is my real Why.
What are you trying to prove? Prove that you made it, that your primary school teacher was wrong, or that you're better than your neighbor.
What is your actual drive? If being the first millionaire in your family is your real drive, that's okay. It could be being debt-free or living off the grid one day, as long as you know clearly what you are chasing.
Money is essential, but it will not heal your deeper scars. Thinking more money will make you happy is like hoping that painting your bathroom will fix the shower leak.
Still, you have to address the money question, and this is how you can approach that.
Decide how much money is enough money for you.
Why?
Because this is the shortest way to get you out of the proverbial rat race.
Think about this deeply and then set the bar once and for all. Assign a number where you feel financially free. This doesn’t mean you need millions. I know people who make 70k a year and are happier than some deca-millionaires I know.
A clear definition of 'enough money' will free up mental space so you can focus on deeper work needed to clear up the inner turmoil.
I love numbers, so here is a quick financial model. I believe that, especially in the US, a 250k per year income post taxes affords you a lifestyle steeped in comfort and luxury. This is as good as being a multi-millionaire. This doesn’t mean you need $250k per year. This does mean that you do not need millions.
Here is a breakdown: for example, if you make 250k post taxes, you take home approximately 20k/month.
You can comfortably afford a 3 or 4-bedroom home in a nice neighborhood (500k price range), drive a nice car, eat at excellent restaurants, take vacations, and still have some left to invest or save.
Beyond this, if you are still unhappy and hoping money will solve your problems, you are trying to fill gaps that money cannot. Your real problem is that you don’t know what truly makes you happy.
If you have a clear definition of 'enough' but need help increasing your income, remember that you are as valuable as the size of the problems you solve. So, train yourself to look for and solve existing problems.
Here are two ideas to help identify problems hidden in plain sight.
Inversion
Could you flip the question or the problem on its head to find an easier path forward?
Example: You wish to help the homeless. Instead of asking how you can help the homeless, ask what is causing them the most harm and do something about that.
Start asking questions from the polar opposite position.
Embrace laziness
The most misunderstood thing about Entrepreneurship is … Laziness.
Great entrepreneurs embrace laziness. They relate to problems born out of laziness, convenience, or scenarios where people wish for a better alternative.
For example, packing lunches for parents can be stressful. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a service for that? An entrepreneur might consider it a business opportunity.
Implement the idea: 💡
Define what enough means for you.
Spend some time thinking deeply about it. Think about 10, 20, or 30 years down the road.
Once you come up with a number, reverse engineer your life and your lifestyle based on that.
Once that is done, write down three examples where you can invert a problem and brainstorm some solutions.
Source: Andrew Wilkinson on Modern Wisdom Podcast.
Andrew is a billionaire, a serial entrepreneur, and an author. You can learn more about Andrew Here.
Modern Wisdom Podcast is one of the most popular podcasts for people wanting to expand their knowledge and mental bandwidth. Learn more Here.
I hope you found this useful and thought-provoking.
Please share what ideas resonated.
Share with someone who might find it useful.
As always, Thanks for showing up here.
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This is a great way to look at things. I have never advocated for making millions ... I actually don't subscribe to that philosophy or push that seems to permeate the internet, like "As someone who has made XXX, I'll show you how" (and don't forget to buy something from me!). I believe this is the fastest way to burnout. Reverse engineering your income and other things helps clearly refine your goals and identify benchmarks. Great article.
Thanks for sharing your views Samaara bcz I am with you 100% . We gotta decide it for ourselves and not follow the societal script.